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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24248263">Be My Eternity</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniSuga127/pseuds/MiniSuga127'>MiniSuga127</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Arguments, Choi Soobin-Centric, Comeback season is stressful, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kai is done, Soobin is tired, They're all just stressed ok, fluff at the end</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:07:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,117</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24248263</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniSuga127/pseuds/MiniSuga127</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Comeback season is hard on everyone, but maybe Soobin stresses out more than he should. It takes a few harsh words and hurt feelings, but eventually Soobin realizes that his members make everything bearable.</p><p>JSLSHSKS THE COMEBACK IM SO EXCITED</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>100</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Guyssss I hope you're as excited for the comeback as I am! This is just a little story my mind came up with when I saw the concept trailer! Hope you enjoy!</p><p>A/N ~ The chronology of events is going to be a little different in this story. I'm pretty sure that the concept trailer was probably filmed before the mv, but for the sake of the story that's going to happen after.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Soobin, I swear to God…”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin sighed, running a hand through his sweaty hair as he sat on the floor of the dance practice room. He stared down at his phone, watching as Yeonjun stared back at him through the screen, unimpressed.</p><p> </p><p>“What Hyung? Hurry up, I wanna finish this before 2.” Soobin muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh yeah?” Yeonjun said, scoffing. “Not happening. I'm coming over there right now and you are going to come back to the dorms with me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung come on…” Soobin whined. “I have to nail this for the comeback.”</p><p> </p><p>“You're already doing just fine, Binnie. Please just take it easy.” Yeonjun pleaded.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, please…” Soobin said, pouting.</p><p> </p><p>“Soobin, listen I'd love to let you make your own decisions, but I don't want you to overdo it…”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin didn't say anything, just deepened the pout and stared at Yeonjun with wide puppy eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun stared back, an unreadable expression on his face.</p><p> </p><p>They stayed like that for a few seconds and just as Soobin was about to give up, Yeonjun let out a long frustrated groan.</p><p> </p><p>“Ugh, <em>fine</em>… But I want you home no later than 2, do you hear me?” Yeonjun said sternly.</p><p> </p><p>“Understood, Hyung!” Soobin said, grinning, dimples on full display.</p><p> </p><p>“I can't believe I'm letting you do this…” Yeonjun grumbled.</p><p> </p><p>“You love me Hyung!” Soobin chirped.</p><p> </p><p>“Unfortunately…” Yeonjun sighed. “Alright Binnie, I'ma hang up now ok? Don't overdo it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Got it Hyung!”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin waited until Yeonjun hung up, then dropped the bright smile that was plastered on his face.</p><p> </p><p>Sighing, he gripped his head in both hands, wincing at the slight headache that was slowly building behind his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>This was bound to happen sooner or later and honestly, Soobin was glad it was happening now. Had it happened sooner, he didn't think he'd be able to give it his all while filming for the music video.</p><p> </p><p>But lucky for him, the mv filming had ended just a week ago and with a month left till their comeback, Soobin thought maybe he'd be able to pull through without any trouble.</p><p> </p><p>They had a pre-recording coming up in a few days and Soobin wasn't really satisfied with his dance. He knew that Yeonjun and the others really believed it when they said he was doing just fine. But Soobin felt that he needed to give that extra push. </p><p> </p><p>Just so he could be sure he didn't end up disappointing the others and his fans.</p><p> </p><p>Just to put his mind at ease.</p><p> </p><p>And so he dragged his tired body back to the front of the dance room, getting ready to run through the dance once more.</p><p> </p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</p><p> </p><p>By the time Soobin decided to head back, it was already 1:30. As Soobin stepped out of the building and began walking towards the dorms, he couldn't help but notice how chilly the air had gotten.</p><p> </p><p>Barely holding back a shiver, he vaguely remembered being told back in school that cold winds often meant bad news.</p><p> </p><p>He shook his head slightly, dispelling the ridiculous thought. Nothing was going to go wrong, he was sure of it.</p><p> </p><p>As he continued walking, he suddenly felt something wet hit his face softly. Tilting his head up slightly, he frowned upon seeing a light drizzle of raindrops falling from the sky.</p><p> </p><p>Focusing back on the path in front of him, he silently hoped he'd be able to make it back home before it really started pouring. He didn't want to risk getting sick at such a crucial time.</p><p> </p><p>But of course, sometimes the universe had nothing better to do than work against people and today the target was Soobin.</p><p> </p><p>As the rain began falling heavily, Soobin had no choice but to start running as fast as he could despite already being completely drained.</p><p> </p><p>He ran and ran, the rain beating against him relentlessly. Soobin groaned in frustration. He really should have listened to Kai when he said to bring a jacket just in case. He really should've listened to Yeonjun and gone back home sooner.</p><p> </p><p>He really should've done a lot of things. As the leader, he shouldn't have to run around, trying to fix his mistakes. He shouldn't make mistakes, period.</p><p> </p><p>Sure that was humanly impossible. But he had been chosen as the leader. He had to be at his best so he could help the others. They were counting on him.</p><p> </p><p>By the time Soobin got back home, the rain had quieted down a bit, but he was still completely soaked. He opened the door to the dorms as quietly as he could, knowing that the others were probably already asleep.</p><p> </p><p>Creeping in quietly and closing the door behind him, he squinted against the darkness shrouding the room.</p><p> </p><p>Yup, everyone was asleep.</p><p> </p><p>At least, that's what Soobin thought until his eyes caught on the dark figure shifting on the couch.</p><p> </p><p>Sighing, Soobin ran a hand through his wet hair as he realized who that was.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, Yeonjun definitely wouldn't have gone to sleep without knowing that Soobin had gotten home safely.</p><p> </p><p>“Soobin…” Yeonjun muttered softly as he stood up. “That you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Mhm…” Soobin hummed in response.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun came closer, catching sight of Soobin and sighing.</p><p> </p><p>“Here, gimme your bag. Go get a change of clothes right now before you get sick. Oh, or better yet, just go take a shower and meet me in the kitchen, k?”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin nodded wordlessly as he went to do just that.</p><p> </p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</p><p> </p><p>“Soobin, we need to talk…” Yeonjun said, as Soobin finished off the sandwich Yeonjun had hastily made for him.</p><p> </p><p>“Hm?” Soobin asked, glancing up at him.</p><p> </p><p>“You really can't keep staying out like this, Soobin.” Yeonjun said.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin shrugged tiredly.</p><p> </p><p>“It's ok, Hyung. We always pull an all nighter right before pre-recordings anyway.” Soobin reasoned.</p><p> </p><p>“That's different, Soobin. That's one night out of so many. You're making this a habit. It's worrying me. It's worrying all of us, Binnie.”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin sighed at Yeonjun's use of the nickname. He always felt like spilling all of his feelings to his Hyung whenever he did that. He didn't like feeling that way. Soobin was the leader. It should be the other way around. He shouldn't be burdening anyone with his feelings.</p><p> </p><p>But it was late and Soobin was tired. And Soobin had no filter when he was tired.</p><p> </p><p>“I- I'm sorry… I'm not trying to worry you guys, but…”</p><p> </p><p>“But?” Yeonjun prompted gently.</p><p> </p><p>“But… I always feel like I'm lacking. Like I could do better. I'm the leader, it doesn't make sense for me to be the only weak link. The only thing holding us back.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Soobin…” Yeonjun said, coming forward to wrap his arms around Soobin. “Whoever told you you're holding us back is a liar, ok? You're the best leader we could ever ask for and you're so <em>damn talented</em> I can't even begin to explain it.”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin melted into his Hyung's embrace, sighing contentedly.</p><p> </p><p>“I'm… I'm not the best, Hyung. But I promise I'll get there. And I really appreciate all of you constantly cheering me on despite… My obvious faults.”</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun shook his head, pulling away to look Soobin in the eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“You're already the best, Binnie. We'll tell you this everyday, but it's up to you to truly accept it. To believe it. And I promise we'll be there to say ‘I told you so’ when you finally realize that you're enough.”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin smiled slightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks Hyung. I sincerely hope you'll always stand by me. All of you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wouldn't leave you for the world, Binnie.” Yeonjun said, reaching out to ruffle the boy's hair. “Now, go to bed. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>“What's the plan again?” Soobin asked as they both began to head towards their rooms.</p><p> </p><p>“We've got dance practice in the morning and then me and you have a meeting with the managers to discuss some more promotion dates.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, ok…” Soobin said, as they stopped in front of their rooms. “Well… Good night, Hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“Night, Binnie. Sleep tight.”</p><p> </p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</p><p> </p><p>When Soobin woke up the next morning, he already knew it wasn't going to be the best day. His head was pounding relentlessly and his entire body was just begging to stay in bed.</p><p> </p><p>He didn't move for the longest time, not wanting to leave the warmth of his bed, but eventually he heard the door open and a voice call out for him.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, come on, we're leaving.” Kai said.</p><p> </p><p>“I'm coming….” Soobin muttered, eyes still closed. “Wake the others…”</p><p> </p><p>“They're already awake. We're waiting on you…”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, alright, I'm coming….”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin heard Kai's soft footsteps as he walked away from his room. He sighed, knowing he should probably get up so they wouldn't be late but it was as if a physical weight had settled on him, preventing him from moving.</p><p> </p><p>And so he lay there, slowly drifting off as he promised himself just five more minutes of rest.</p><p> </p><p>He didn't know how much time had passed before he heard loud footsteps coming back towards his room.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, come on! You're going to miss breakfast again!” Kai said sternly.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin groaned in frustration, finally opening his eyes and glaring at Kai.</p><p> </p><p>“Kai, I said I'm coming.” He said, irritated, as he finally dragged himself out of bed. “Just leave me alone. We'll leave on time, don't worry about it.”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin hadn't meant to sound snappy, he really didn't. But he was absolutely exhausted and that meant his brain wasn't going to stop him from saying things that he probably shouldn't.</p><p> </p><p>“Geez, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed…” Kai muttered, before walking away.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin winced at the annoyance in Kai's voice, but he shoved the guilt down. He really didn't have time to think about that right now and besides, he was sure Kai wouldn't stay mad at him for long.</p><p> </p><p>As he quickly got ready and left the room, he was desperately hoping that nothing would go wrong during dance practice. He was sure the others would have no problem doing the dance perfectly, but he could only hope he could nail it in the beginning so they could finish earlier.</p><p> </p><p>As he walked through the hall, he noticed that only him and Beomgyu were still inside the apartment. Beomgyu was scrambling to tie his shoes, an anxious look on his face.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin took one look at his face and instantly knew that he probably slept later than he should have and in turn, probably missed breakfast. Breakfast was the only thing Beomgyu often had trouble remembering.</p><p> </p><p>Not much could be done about that at the moment, but Soobin quickly grabbed a banana from the kitchen counter and handed it to Beomgyu.</p><p> </p><p>“Here, eat this on the way.”</p><p> </p><p>Beomgyu's face lit up as he took the banana from his Hyung.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, thanks Hyung.” He chirped happily.</p><p> </p><p>“No problem. Now wait outside.” Soobin said, patting the boy's head.</p><p> </p><p>Beomgyu obediently finished tying his shoes and went to open the front door. Just as his hand touched the knob, the door went flying open, nearly hitting Beomgyu in the face.</p><p> </p><p>He jumped out of the way just in time and came face to face with Taehyun.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, sorry Hyung.” Taehyun said, breathlessly. “I forgot to grab a water bottle for myself. Could you…?”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin was already in the kitchen so he told the two boys to wait outside.</p><p> </p><p>“I'll do it, Tae. You two wait outside.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks Hyung!” Taehyun said as the two left.</p><p> </p><p>Grabbing two extra water bottles just in case, Soobin ran out the door to meet his members.</p><p> </p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</p><p> </p><p>It didn't hit Soobin that he had forgotten to eat breakfast yet again until they were running through the dance a second time. </p><p> </p><p>He felt sick to the stomach, his head spinning. It didn't help that his throat was also aching.</p><p> </p><p>That was probably a consequence of staying out in the rain last night. He groaned in frustration. He wasn't supposed to get sick, this couldn't be happening right now.</p><p> </p><p>And to make things worse, there was no possible way they'd be able to finish early.</p><p> </p><p>And no, it wasn't because Soobin couldn't dance right.</p><p> </p><p>This time it was Kai.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin knew he probably shouldn't be annoyed at the fact that the boy kept making rookie mistakes, but all Soobin wanted at the moment was to finish early so he could get some more sleep.</p><p> </p><p>And so as time went on, he got more and more irritated.</p><p> </p><p>When Kai missed his step by a few seconds on their fifth run, Soobin couldn't take it anymore. He stepped out of formation and switched off the music.</p><p> </p><p>Ignoring the sounds of protest, he turned to face Kai, arms crossed and gaze angry.</p><p> </p><p>“Kai, what's wrong with you?” He said.</p><p> </p><p>Kai blinked, taken aback by the direct comment.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing's <em>wrong</em>…. I just…”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Soobin said, cutting him off. “Something must be wrong. Because if nothing's wrong then why do you keep messing up?”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin was acutely aware of the fact that the others were staring at him in disbelief, shocked at the words coming out of their leader's mouth. But for some strange reason, Soobin couldn't bring himself to care. It was as if the anger in his mind was clouding his better judgement.</p><p> </p><p>And as much as he knew he'd regret it later on, Soobin just didn't have a filter when he was exhausted.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean, I'm only human Hyung… Making mistakes isn't a new thing…” Kai said.</p><p> </p><p>“You shouldn't be making mistakes this late in the game. We've only got a few days till the pre-recording and you're making rookie mistakes! You were doing just fine when we filmed the mv. What's the problem now?”</p><p> </p><p>“I'm- Hyung, I'm just nervous, I guess…” </p><p> </p><p>It was clear that Kai literally had no idea how to respond to the things Soobin was saying.</p><p> </p><p>“We can't afford to be nervous right now. Do you know what happens when you're nervous? You make stupid mistakes like the ones you're making now and you end up disappointing our fans. Do you wanna disappoint MOA? Because that's what it looks like.”</p><p> </p><p>Kai's eyes widened, shock and betrayal clear in his gaze.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, that's enough.” Yeonjun said sternly.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin glared in his direction, but didn't say anything. His mind was running too fast for him to be able to form words. He watched silently as Yeonjun approached the younger members.</p><p> </p><p>“Um, Beomgyu, take Kai and Tae outside for a bit. Take a break, ok?”</p><p> </p><p>Beomgyu nodded wordlessly, throwing a nervous glance at Soobin before obediently leaving the room with the others.</p><p> </p><p>Once they were alone, Yeonjun turned to Soobin, anger in his gaze.</p><p> </p><p>“Explain. Now.” He said sternly.</p><p> </p><p>“Explain what?” Soobin said, scoffing.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance.</p><p> </p><p>“You see, Soobin, <em>this</em> is exactly why I told you to come home earlier. Because now you're tired and shit and you're taking it out on everyone else. You start saying things you don't mean and-”</p><p> </p><p>“This has nothing to do with me being tired. I'm completely fine and I meant everything I said to him. I'm not going to sugar-coat things when he's clearly lacking. He needs to hear these things. If I sugar-coat things for him, it's gonna be a slap in the face when someone else tells him the same thing straight up.”</p><p> </p><p>“And if his own leader, his Hyung, says these things to him? It's gonna be super easy to take, yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“That's not the point. As his leader, I need to tell him when he's messing up. And for the record, I didn't scold him right away. He kept making the same mistake and that's what ticked me off.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, that's real nice of you. You waited for a bit before humiliating him in front of all his Hyungs and accusing him of being a disappointment to his fans. Best leader material, I must say.”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin flinched at the last comment.</p><p> </p><p>“At least I'm trying my best. Clearly the rest of you aren't.”</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun's eyes flashed in anger as Soobin extended his insult to the rest of the team.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, I'm done trying to talk sense into you. Clearly, it's not working. I'll tell the others to come back, we'll run through the dance once more and then you can go home and sleep. I'll go to the meeting myself.”</p><p> </p><p>“I'm coming to the meeting. I'm the leader, I have to be there.” Soobin protested.</p><p> </p><p>“Do what you want, Soobin.” Yeonjun said, his tone flat.</p><p> </p><p>They didn't talk anymore after that. And even when the others came back, the room was shrouded in silence.</p><p> </p><p>Kai didn't make any more mistakes, his movements almost robotic as they ran through the dance.</p><p> </p><p>But as Soobin met his eyes for a second, he realized that only one person in that room had made a terrible mistake.</p><p> </p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the day was a blur and Soobin was having trouble paying attention to anything. He had spaced out so many times during the meeting, he was sure it had drawn some attention. </p><p> </p><p>While he did feel guilty about what he'd said, he had no idea how to approach the situation. He was still slightly irritated, because everything <em>had</em> to be perfect for the comeback. He had spent sleepless nights trying to perfect his dance and giving it his all. He felt like he had at least a <em>little</em> justification for getting angry when it seemed like the others were taking it lightly.</p><p> </p><p>Now they were back home and some of the members were debating going out for ice cream.</p><p> </p><p>“If we do go out, we need to be back in a couple hours…” Kai was saying.</p><p> </p><p>“Huh? Why?” Taehyun asked. “Oh, right we have dance practice this entire week, don't we?”</p><p> </p><p>“Mhm. And we also have a photoshoot tomorrow, I think…” Beomgyu muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, Yeonjun Hyung, what's the exact schedule? For tomorrow?” Kai asked.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin was painfully aware that he was being ignored, as each and every one of his dongsaengs stared right past him as Kai addressed Yeonjun.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, well, I think we have the photoshoot first. And then dance practice and then we have to film the concept trailer. After the filming we’re gonna be practicing all night for the pre-recording tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, ok thanks Hyung.” Kai replied.</p><p> </p><p>“You guys could turn in early. But if you really wanna go for ice cream, we can.”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, here's what we'll do. Everyone get ready and meet outside in 15 minutes, ok?” Taehyun said.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone nodded in agreement and went to do just that.</p><p> </p><p>As Soobin stood from his place on the couch, he hesitantly reached out towards Kai.</p><p> </p><p>“Kai, I-”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin cut himself off as Kai turned his head towards him, his gaze angry and piercing.</p><p> </p><p>“I'm busy, Hyung.” He said shortly, and left before Soobin could get another word out.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin winced as his guilt only grew. How was he supposed to fix this now?</p><p> </p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</p><p> </p><p>Even as they ate ice cream and talked and laughed, there was a clear divide between the members. The three maknaes sat on one end of the table, while the Hyungs sat on the other, both sides effectively ignoring the other.</p><p> </p><p>Well, not exactly…</p><p> </p><p>The maknaes were only ignoring Soobin, of course. It was kind of annoying the way they pointedly only addressed Yeonjun in their conversation.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin knew he deserved being ignored, but it was getting a little irritating. How was he supposed to make amends if they didn't let him?</p><p> </p><p>“Soobin… Why aren't you eating?”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin jerked, startled as Yeonjun addressed him for the first time since they had arrived at the ice cream place.</p><p> </p><p>He blinked, first glancing at Yeonjun and then at his ice cream, which sat almost untouched.</p><p> </p><p>“Um… No reason…” Soobin muttered.</p><p> </p><p>There was a reason. His throat was killing him and Soobin found that the cold ice cream only made it hurt more.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you feeling sick?” Yeonjun asked, concerned.</p><p> </p><p>“Um, yeah… A little bit…” He muttered.</p><p> </p><p>As if on cue, he felt a little tickle in his throat, making him cough into his arm.</p><p> </p><p>“A little?” Yeonjun asked, raising an eyebrow. “How long have you been feeling like this?”</p><p> </p><p>“Just since today…”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe you caught a cold from the rain?”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe…”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, that's real mature, Hyung…” Kai drawled suddenly.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin glanced up, frowning in confusion. Was Kai addressing him? It certainly looked like it from the way he was glaring directly at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you seriously pretending to be sick right now? What, you think you're gonna be able to guilt trip me into forgiving you?”</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun glanced at Soobin sharply.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you faking?” Yeonjun asked sternly.</p><p> </p><p>“What? No!” Soobin said, incredulously.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure, Hyung. I guess you just magically decided to be sick after what happened today.” Kai said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.</p><p> </p><p>“No! I've been feeling off since yesterday!” Soobin protested.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh?” Kai said, grinning maliciously. “Didn't you just tell Yeonjun you've been sick since today? Were you lying? Or are you lying now?”</p><p> </p><p>“I'm not- I didn't-” Soobin desperately tried to get out of the verbal trap, but Kai's angry glare was very nerve-wracking.</p><p> </p><p>“You're lying Hyung, end of story. Which means you're faking. I can't believe you, Hyung. I was actually considering forgiving you, but after seeing you stoop that low, I've changed my mind.”</p><p> </p><p>And with that, Kai stood up and stormed off.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin sat there in shock as Beomgyu and Taehyun shot betrayed glances at him.</p><p> </p><p>“That's messed up, Hyung…” Beomgyu muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“You should've just apologized instead of trying to guilt trip him." Taehyun said, as both of them slowly stood and walked off to where Kai had gone.</p><p> </p><p>“I'm disappointed in you, Soobin…” Yeonjun said.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin turned pleading eyes towards his Hyung, but he flinched away when he saw the sadness in his gaze.</p><p> </p><p>“I expected more from you…”</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun stood up and left, leaving Soobin utterly alone with his thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</p><p> </p><p>When the next morning came, Soobin could already tell everything was going to end in a train wreck.</p><p> </p><p>He hadn't slept the entire night and when he tried to look for medicine for his cold, he realized they had run out.</p><p> </p><p>His irrational anger was back, clouding the guilt he felt the previous night.</p><p> </p><p>All he could remember was how Kai had framed him and made his Hyung and dongsaengs disappointed in him.</p><p> </p><p>At this point, Soobin believed it wasn't his fault. He had realized his mistake and tried to apologize only to end up being framed by Kai.</p><p> </p><p><em>That</em> was messed up. More messed up than what Soobin had done, in his opinion. He had just stated the cold, hard facts to Kai.</p><p> </p><p>If Kai couldn't deal with the harsh words, it wasn't Soobin's fault. He was done trying to apologize.</p><p> </p><p>And so, with everyone set in their own anger, the photoshoot wasn't going so well.</p><p> </p><p>Their entire group dynamic was off, each member stiff and irritated whenever they had to stand with the opposing side.</p><p> </p><p>If the staff noticed anything, they didn't talk about it, so Soobin assumed everyone was trying their best to pretend to get along.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin, however, didn't want to pretend. He sat alone whenever they were on break, sending glares in Kai's direction.</p><p> </p><p>Kai would pass by at times, sending a glare right back or some sarcastic comment, but Soobin always held his tongue.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn't because Soobin didn't want to hurt his feelings with words or anything. It was because his cold was becoming distracting at this point.</p><p> </p><p>Every time he coughed or sneezed, a glare was sent his way. They all still thought he was faking, so most of his energy was being used in trying to ignore the sickness.</p><p> </p><p>“Um, Hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin glanced up in confusion when he noticed Beomgyu and Taehyun standing near him.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes?” He asked, hesitantly.</p><p> </p><p>He really hoped they didn't notice how he was shivering slightly. The cold really wouldn't let up and Soobin had totally forgot to bring his sweater.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung… Can't you just apologize to him now?” Beomgyu muttered.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“I tried. You saw how that went.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, to be fair, you tried once and it wasn't the best of attempts.” Taehyun said.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I would've tried again had everyone not been so set on pretending I was invisible. And I don't think he deserves an apology after he framed me like that last night.”</p><p> </p><p>“But did he really? I'm not trying to argue but you look completely fine right now…” Beomgyu said.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin sighed, dropping his head in his hands. He realized that only Yeonjun could really tell when he was off and that the others were always completely fooled whenever he hid his concerns.</p><p> </p><p>Was Kai really to blame then?</p><p> </p><p>He couldn't have known that Soobin was actually sick…</p><p> </p><p>Still, Soobin wasn't going to back down so easily. He was still hurt that Kai could even think about him doing something like that to guilt trip him.</p><p> </p><p>“Listen, I still stand by everything I said yesterday. He needs to hear these things. We all knew what we were getting into when we signed up for the idol life and if he can't handle it, then he's in the wrong place.”</p><p> </p><p>Taehyun shook his head, while Beomgyu sighed in frustration.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright whatever. It's clear that you won't listen to reason.” Beomgyu muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“Our mistake for assuming you still had some sense in you.” Taehyun said, grabbing Beomgyu's hand and leading him away.</p><p> </p><p>As Soobin watched them go, he sighed heavily.</p><p> </p><p>He always seemed to end up alone these days.</p><p> </p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</p><p> </p><p>Soobin slumped down into a corner of the dance practice room, breathing heavily.</p><p> </p><p>Dance practice room wasn't going well for anyone, but it was particularly hard on Soobin.</p><p> </p><p>His throat was aching, his head was pounding and he was beginning to feel a little light-headed.</p><p> </p><p>He was definitely at an all time low, both physically and emotionally, and dance practice was only frustrating him more.</p><p> </p><p>All those mistakes he had spent late nights to fix were making an appearance <em>now</em>, when they absolutely could not afford them.</p><p> </p><p>He tried to ignore the annoyed glances that everyone was giving him everytime he messed up.</p><p> </p><p>He coughed into his arm, head throbbing the entire time.</p><p> </p><p>“Get over it, Hyung. We don't have time to mess around.” Beomgyu muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“I don't think we'll be able to finish in time to rest before the filming, you guys.” Taehyun said.</p><p> </p><p>“We would've had plenty of time to rest. If <em>someone</em> didn't keep messing up.” Kai said, pointedly.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin winced at the comment.</p><p> </p><p>Yup, he had definitely deserved that…</p><p> </p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</p><p> </p><p>By the time they were ready to start filming the concept trailer, Soobin was ready to collapse, his head constantly swimming at this point.</p><p> </p><p>Before the filming, Yeonjun had taken them all aside and lightly scolded them.</p><p> </p><p>Apparently, some of the staff had noticed that the group was off and they had sternly said that whatever was going on had to be put aside when they were filming.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun didn't say it, but Soobin could clearly tell that it was directed towards him. He was the one that had put a rift between them after all.</p><p> </p><p>He was the one slowly tearing the group apart.</p><p> </p><p>Once the director had told them what to do in each scene, the five boys sat around the small table, talking and laughing as if nothing was wrong. To any outside person, it wasn’t obvious in the least that there was tension between the boys. In fact, they seemed like the best of friends, almost brothers.</p><p> </p><p>But to someone like Soobin, it wasn’t hard to see the obvious strain behind Taehyun’s eyes as he looked at him or the tightness of Beomgyu’s smile. It wasn’t hard to see how Yeonjun kept glancing worriedly at everyone or how Kai was still blatantly ignoring him.</p><p> </p><p>Still, Soobin laughed and talked like nothing was wrong until they got the cue that the scene was over.</p><p> </p><p>As they waited for the staff to set up for the next scene, the boys naturally drifted apart again.</p><p> </p><p>Kai, Taehyun and Beomgyu on one end, Soobin on the other, and Yeonjun hovering somewhere in the middle.</p><p> </p><p>Soon, they were filming for the next scene, Soobin noticing how comfortable the others seemed in the scenes without him. He smiled and spoke to them just like he was supposed to, while they ignored his existence altogether.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, he was sitting alone on one end of the huge table, while the other four sat what felt like miles away.</p><p> </p><p>As he waited for his cue to stand and move towards them, a chilling thought suddenly occurred to him. They seemed so comfortable without him.</p><p> </p><p>Had he really done this?</p><p> </p><p>Was he really invisible to them?</p><p> </p><p>Somewhere in his mind, a small voice reasoned that it was all just acting, just for show. But deep down, he knew that this is what had been happening all this time.</p><p> </p><p>And he had been the cause of it.</p><p> </p><p>He stood up when he got the cue, slowly walking as the table turned with his every step. They were unreachable. He couldn’t fix what he had done at this point.</p><p> </p><p>Walking back as if in a trance, he climbed on to the table and walked towards them, painfully aware of the fact that they didn’t even spare him a glance.</p><p> </p><p>“Cut!” </p><p> </p><p>As the scene ended, the other members stood off to the side, watching as Soobin stepped into the glass box set on top of the table.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin glanced over at the boys, expression falling when he saw that they had returned to whatever conversation they were having before. Normally, whenever one of them had a solo scene, the others would cheer him on, but this time they completely ignored him.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin tried desperately to forget about it as he started his scene, pounding against the glass relentlessly, as he screamed at his friends to look at him.</p><p> </p><p>If he screamed loud enough, would his members spare him a glance?</p><p> </p><p>But Soobin knew that at the end of the day, he deserved to be ignored. He had done this. He had hurt everyone’s feelings and for what? Just because he was a little stressed out?</p><p> </p><p>Soobin didn’t realize he had been crying until the scene was over. </p><p> </p><p>Stepping away from the glass as his breath hitched, his eyes naturally travelled over to his members.</p><p> </p><p>They were still talking amongst themselves. As if Soobin didn’t even exist.</p><p> </p><p>Stepping off of the table, Soobin began to walk away aimlessly, trying to stem his tears. Before he could even take ten steps forward, a hand gripped his arm tightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Soobin….” </p><p> </p><p>Soobin turned upon hearing Yeonjun’s concerned voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you… ok?” He asked hesitantly.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin gulped, turning his head away from him.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine…”</p><p> </p><p>And without another word, he turned away, leaving the others behind.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t deserve to be with them.</p><p> </p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</p><p> </p><p>Soobin groaned in pain as he slowly woke up. He shook his head, trying to remember how he had ended up in his bed.</p><p> </p><p>Oh right…</p><p> </p><p>He had gone home and cried himself to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>Totally forgetting that they had to practice all night.</p><p> </p><p>Gasping as the realization crashed into his mind, he scrambled out of his bed and rushed out of his room, glancing at the time.</p><p> </p><p>2:00…</p><p> </p><p>Yikes, he was late. And judging by the silence in the house, he assumed everyone had gone to practice without him.</p><p> </p><p>Sighing, he went back to his room, debating whether or not he should go anyway. It might cause more problems but Soobin didn’t want to show up to the pre-recording unprepared.</p><p> </p><p>He grabbed his phone from where it was lying on his bed and noticed that Yeonjun had sent him a text.</p><p> </p><p><b>Jun</b> <b>Hyung</b>: I didn’t wanna wake u… but if u wake up and see this, plz just rest ok?</p><p> </p><p>Soobin sighed, shaking his head.</p><p> </p><p><b>Me</b>: Hyung no I’m coming</p><p> </p><p><b>Jun</b> <b>Hyung</b>: srsly Soobin u look like a train ran u over. Just sleep.</p><p> </p><p><b>Me</b>: look here’s what we’ll do. I’ll come and then we all leave after an hour</p><p> </p><p><b>Jun</b> <b>Hyung</b>: alright fine.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin smiled slightly. Maybe he could finally apologize properly when he got there. Rushing back to his room, he got a change of clothes and a few water bottles, getting ready to leave.</p><p> </p><p>As he stepped out and headed to the door, his eyes caught on the window overlooking the city.</p><p> </p><p>He winced when he realized it was raining hard. He was already sick and he really didn’t wanna make it worse.</p><p> </p><p>Setting down his things, he sat on the couch and watched the rain fall.</p><p> </p><p>He decided to wait it out before leaving. As he stared at the rain, he realized he felt exactly how Yeonjun said he looked. Like a train had run him over.</p><p> </p><p>Was he really ready to practice with the others?</p><p> </p><p>Sighing, he shook the thought from his mind. He was going to meet them at the practice room and make things right.</p><p> </p><p>Even as his eyelids grew heavy once more, the thought remained strong in his head. He could fix this. He <em>would</em> fix this.</p><p> </p><p>He would just wait…</p><p> </p><p>Until it stopped raining…</p><p> </p><p>And then…</p><p> </p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</p><p> </p><p>Soobin jerked awake at the sound of soft footsteps. Blinking against the darkness, he glanced over at the front door, confusion coming over him as he saw Yeonjun herding the others to bed.</p><p> </p><p><em>Oh</em> <em>shit…</em></p><p> </p><p>Soobin dropped his head in his hands when he realized that he had fallen asleep and totally forgotten that he had told Yeonjun he was coming.</p><p> </p><p>He glanced down at his phone to check the time. 3:30.</p><p> </p><p>It seemed like the others had decided to come back early anyways.</p><p> </p><p>No one spoke to him, they just went straight to bed. A few minutes later, Yeonjun came back to the living room.</p><p> </p><p>He stopped just a few steps away from Soobin, arms crossed, expression stern.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin didn't say anything, the guilt taking his ability to form words.</p><p> </p><p>“Soobin…” Yeonjun sighed. “If you really wanted to make things right, you wouldn't have lied to us like that and actually made an effort to come.”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin dropped his gaze, swallowing thickly. He hadn't been lying, but he had a feeling Yeonjun wouldn't believe him.</p><p> </p><p>“You know what? The others were actually ready to forgive you and were waiting for you to come.”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin lifted his eyes, staring at Yeonjun in shock and regret. He just kept messing things up, didn't he?</p><p> </p><p>“When you didn't show up, they got turned off and decided to come back early.”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin didn't say anything, just kept staring.</p><p> </p><p>“I'm disappointed in you Soobin. I… I really thought I could trust you to make things right.”</p><p> </p><p>And with that, Yeonjun turned away and left Soobin alone once again.</p><p> </p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</p><p> </p><p>The day of the pre-recording was hell.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin had managed to be the first one awake and had to endure each and every one of the members ignoring him and treating him like he was invisible.</p><p> </p><p>The effects of his cold were also attacking him relentlessly. He had long since given up trying to hide it, but the members were past giving him annoyed glares everytime he sneezed or coughed.</p><p> </p><p>By the time they were all in position on the stage, Soobin didn't think he'd be able to make it through the performance.</p><p> </p><p>His head was throbbing painfully, his breaths already strained as his throat ached.</p><p> </p><p>His entire body was aching, but he knew he just had to get through the dance once. This wasn't like dance practice where they continuously had to run through the dance.</p><p> </p><p>He just had to get through it perfectly in one shot. Just once.</p><p> </p><p>He could do it.</p><p> </p><p>At least, that's what he told himself as the music started and he let it carry him away.</p><p> </p><p>He ignored the pounding in his head, the aching in his muscles. He ignored the way his breaths were getting more and more strained.</p><p> </p><p>He had already ruined so many things for the group, he could do this one thing right for them, right?</p><p> </p><p>Even though their performance was no longer than 4 minutes, it felt like an entire year had passed when they finally finished, everyone standing in their ending formation.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin was covered in sweat as he swayed on his feet. He could feel his vision going blurry, his muscles screaming in pain.</p><p> </p><p>But he smiled slightly.</p><p> </p><p>He had done it.</p><p> </p><p>He had done something right.</p><p> </p><p>“Soobin, are you ok?”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin slowly turned to Yeonjun, the small smile still present on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“I did it, Hyung…” He muttered, softly as his head swam. “I did my best… For you guys…”</p><p> </p><p>His vision was tunneling fast. He should probably sit down…</p><p> </p><p>Get off the stage before he…</p><p> </p><p>“Soobin Hyung!”</p><p> </p><p>That sounded like Kai…</p><p> </p><p>It sounded urgent…</p><p> </p><p>It was the last thing Soobin heard before his vision finally faded to black…</p><p> </p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</p><p> </p><p>Soobin awoke to a sharp pain in his elbow. He blinked against the light, slowly registering all the aches and pains in his body.</p><p> </p><p>He was also acutely aware of the fact that he was burning up.</p><p> </p><p>He moaned in pain as he tried to shift the heavy blanket off of himself.</p><p> </p><p>Once it was off, he slowly panned the room with his eyes, taking in his surroundings.</p><p> </p><p>He was back at the dorms. He was lying on the couch in the living room. There was Yeonjun, pacing the room, talking to someone on the phone. There was Kai, Beomgyu and Taehyun, sitting on the couch across from him.</p><p> </p><p>Kai's eyes met his suddenly and the boy gasped, immediately standing.</p><p> </p><p>“Guys, Hyung's awake!” He whisper-yelled.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin's eyes widened as all three boys stood and began making their way towards him.</p><p> </p><p>He had to apologize. He had to do it now.</p><p> </p><p>“Kai, I…” He began as he tried sitting up, but Kai gently pushed him back down.</p><p> </p><p>“Aish, no no, Hyung, you should lie down…” Beomgyu muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“No, guys I….”</p><p> </p><p>“Not right now, Hyung.” Taehyun said, worriedly.</p><p> </p><p>“Guys, please…” Soobin pleaded, gripping the hand Kai was using to push him back down. “Please let me apologize.”</p><p> </p><p>The boys stopped trying to get Soobin to lie down and stared at him, sorrow in their gazes.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin opened his mouth to speak, but never got the chance as Yeonjun finally noticed he was awake.</p><p> </p><p>“Soobin! You're awake!” Yeonjun said, eyes widening as he set down his phone and ran over to him.</p><p> </p><p>He crouched down in front of Soobin, staring at his face in concern as the other three moved away slightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung…” Soobin muttered, as he met his Hyung's eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Soobin, do you remember what happened?” Yeonjun asked softly.</p><p> </p><p>“Um…” Soobin frowned as he thought back. “I remember the pre-recording… I remember feeling terrible afterwards… That's… That's basically it…”</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun stayed silent for some time, gazing at Soobin with such concern in his eyes that Soobin was afraid he would burst into tears any second.</p><p> </p><p>“You passed out, Soobin… And you… Fell off the stage…”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin's eyes widened as he let out a soft gasp.</p><p> </p><p>“I what…?” He whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“You were standing too close to the edge. And when you collapsed, you fell off the stage. You hit your elbow on the way down, but we had it checked and there's no fracture…”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin frowned, confused. He had fallen off the stage? But considering the height from which he had fallen, it didn't make much sense for him to be relatively unharmed. At the very least he would have hit his head when he landed and suffered a concussion.</p><p> </p><p>“It could've been much worse…” Yeonjun said, as if reading his mind. “But lucky for you, Kai was already off the stage. He caught you just in time…”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin glanced at everyone in turn, taking in the concerned expressions. He sighed, dropping his gaze.</p><p> </p><p>“I talked to the manager…” Yeonjun said softly. “We're postponing the comeback for a bit. They said we should all take a break after today…”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin's heart dropped, sadness consuming him. They had worked so hard only for Soobin to mess up so bad that they had to push back their comeback.</p><p> </p><p>“I- I'm so sorry you guys… I know you were all looking forward to this…” He muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“Don't apologize for that Hyung. You're more important to us…” Kai said, earnestly.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin stared at the maknae in disbelief. He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn’t stand the way they were all treating him with such care as if he hadn't been such a jerk to them not too long ago.</p><p> </p><p>“I'm- Thank you guys so much… For still standing by me after I was such a jerk to everyone…” His voice cracked as silent tears began streaming down his face.</p><p> </p><p>“You guys have every right to be mad at me. I was a terrible leader and I never should have said those things to you. I'm so sorry you guys, I'm so so-”</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, please don't cry…” Kai pleaded.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin gulped, pressing his palms against his eyes in a desperate attempt to stem the tears.</p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun sighed and wrapped his hand around Soobin's, prompting him to look up.</p><p> </p><p>“Soobin, it's ok. We all forgive you. We understand that everyone has their off days and that we say things we don't mean sometimes…”</p><p> </p><p>“And you're the best leader we could ever ask for Hyung.” Beomgyu added. “The fact that you've realized your mistake and feel bad about it really proves that. There are so many people who aren't even willing to accept their own mistakes.”</p><p> </p><p>“And for the record, Hyung, you weren't the only one at fault…” Taehyun said, regretfully. “We didn't exactly try to fix things either. We didn't believe you when you said you were sick and we only added fuel to the fire.”</p><p> </p><p>“We forgive you, Hyung. So please forgive yourself…” Kai said, softly.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin smiled, his tears slowly decreasing.</p><p> </p><p>This was why he loved his team so much. They could pull through anything, big or small.</p><p> </p><p>At the end of the day, he could always count on the fact that they'd be together again.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks guys…” He said, softly. “I'm sorry once again…”</p><p> </p><p>“So are we… We hope you can forgive us….” Yeonjun said.</p><p> </p><p>“Always…” Soobin muttered, eyelids growing heavy.</p><p> </p><p>“We're going to let you sleep now, ok? If you need us, just ask. And get better soon, Binnie…” Yeonjun said as he stood up.</p><p> </p><p>“K, Hyung…” Soobin muttered sleepily.</p><p> </p><p>One by one, the boys left and started doing their own things. Soobin yawned, blinking tiredly as his eyelids slipped further down. He was almost asleep when he noticed that Kai was still sitting near him on the floor.</p><p> </p><p>“Kai…” Soobin whispered, grabbing the boy's attention. </p><p> </p><p>When Kai looked up at him, Soobin waved him closer.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes Hyung?” Kai whispered, as he scooted closer to him.</p><p> </p><p>“I'm really sorry, you know?” Soobin muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“I know, Hyung. It's ok, don't worry about it…” Kai said, genuinely. “I think we all just got a little worked up from all the stress. I'm sorry we treated you the way we did…”</p><p> </p><p>“I deserved it…” Soobin said morosely.</p><p> </p><p>“You didn't Hyung… Because I'd be lying if I said I couldn't tell you were sorry for what you did. I noticed it right away, you know? I could tell you realized your mistake, but I just…”</p><p> </p><p>“Don't worry, Kai. I just hope you know that there's nothing wrong with you. I didn't mean what I said. You're the best ok? I wish I could be the best leader for you but I don't think I can…”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks Hyung. I know you didn't mean it…” Kai said, grinning as he purposely ignored the ‘best leader’ part.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin pouted as he glanced at Kai.</p><p> </p><p>“You don't think I'm the best leader?” He asked playfully.</p><p> </p><p>Kai sighed, moving closer to his Hyung and wrapping his hand around Soobin's.</p><p> </p><p>“I hope you know I don't see you as a leader. None of us do really.” Kai said.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin frowned in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you see me as then?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I guess we <em>kinda</em> see you as a leader.” Kai said, thoughtfully. “But before all else, we see you as a brother.”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin smiled slightly. That's exactly how he saw all of his teammates.</p><p> </p><p>“So even if you're not the best leader…” Kai said jokingly. “You're definitely the best Hyung I ever could've asked for…”</p><p> </p><p>“I'm glad…” Soobin said softly. “You're the best baby brother, Kai.”</p><p> </p><p>Kai grinned happily.</p><p> </p><p>“I know, you don't need to tell me that.” He said, laughing. “Now scoot over, I want cuddles.”</p><p> </p><p>“Cuddles?” Soobin said, frowning. “But you might get sick, Kai…”</p><p> </p><p>“Eh, who cares?” Kai said, shrugging. “We're officially on break, I think it'll be fine. Besides, I missed you…”</p><p> </p><p>“I missed you too, Kai…” Soobin said, as he made room for him.</p><p> </p><p>And when the others came back to the room a few hours later, they were happy to see the both of them fast asleep in each other's arms, soft smiles on their faces.<br/><br/></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm so terrified, I will NOT survive this comeback it is physically impossible😣<br/>JSKSHDJ IM SO EXCITED</p><p>Y'all can fangirl with me at...<br/>Tumblr:@minisuga127<br/>Twitter:@MiniSuga127</p><p>Comments motivate me!💜 thx for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This is just a little snippet of the story from Kai's perspective.<br/>Requested by kkarina182<br/>And also a tiny little epilogue thing cuz I couldn't stop myself🙃Hope you enjoy!😊💜</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Kai jerked awake, his mind desperately trying to rid itself of the nightmare he'd just experienced. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Soobin had been yelling at him again, his eyes holding a deep sort of disappointment. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Shaking his head, he sighed in frustration. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It had already been a few days since the fight, yet he still couldn't get Soobin's words out of his head. His harsh words kept ringing in his head relentlessly even though he knew deep down that Soobin hadn't meant any of it. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Kai had seen the exact moment that Soobin had realized exactly what he had said to him. He knew that Soobin was trying to gather the courage to apologise for what he had done, but… </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Was Kai really ready to accept that apology? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He knew he should, but… He wouldn't be forgetting those words any time soon. He didn't want to pretend like it didn't hurt him. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> But at the same time, Kai knew he wasn't completely innocent either. He had completely ignored Soobin's attempt to apologize.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> No, scratch that. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> He had completely ignored </em> Soobin<em>. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He could tell it was taking a toll on him and he was feeling rather guilty about it. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> That was, until Soobin decided to act like he was sick to guilt trip him. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Did Soobin see Kai as a fool as well as a disappointment? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> That was messed up, Kai thought. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Even more messed up than how Kai was ignoring Soobin, at least in his opinion. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And he couldn't believe Soobin had the audacity to continue acting even after he had been called out by everyone. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He had even skipped out on dance practice with the rest of them just to solidify his lie. Kai thought that was taking it too far. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It was clear Soobin wasn't planning on giving up any time soon. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And so that's why Kai continued ignoring him and his irritating acting on the day of the pre-recording. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Before standing on the stage, Kai was taken aside by one of the staff members and asked what was up with Soobin. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Kai just shrugged and said, “I don't know. Maybe he's tired? We all are…” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> After that, he left to stand on the stage. Before the song started, he shot a glance in Soobin's direction. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The boy was holding his head, a pained grimace on his face. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> A thread of worry found its way around Kai's heart. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Maybe he wasn't faking it? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> But there was no time to think about it any longer as the music started. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Kai let the music carry his body, but his mind and eyes were entirely on Soobin. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> If he wasn't faking it, their choreo would be super hard for him to go through. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Everytime they neared the chorus, Kai would anxiously watch Soobin's every move. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> After the first chorus, Kai and Soobin stood next to each other. When they turned to face each other for a second, Kai was shocked to see how pale Soobin's face was. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Kai didn't think Soobin saw the worry in his face. His eyes were half closed and it looked like he was entirely focused on breathing. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Kai couldn't focus the entire time after that and he was sure he'd made more than a few mistakes. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Fully convinced that they'd have to perform the song another time, he had made up his mind to step off the stage as soon as they stopped dancing to tell the staff member that Soobin was sick and that they should hold off the pre-recording for another time. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And so, as soon as the song ended, Kai leaped off the stage, ready to try and talk his way out of this for his Hyung. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> But they shooed him away, saying they were busy monitoring the choreo to see if it needed to be done again. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Sighing in frustration, Kai stood there patiently, turning his attention back to the stage while he waited. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Soobin looked terrible.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He was talking to Yeonjun, small murmurs making their way to Kai's ears. His eyes were clearly unfocused as he stared at Yeonjun blankly. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And that's when Soobin suddenly stumbled backwards a few steps, getting dangerously close to the edge of the stage. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Soobin Hyung!” Kai yelled, eyes widening as Soobin continued to sway, eyelids fluttering. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Gasping as he realized exactly what was about to happen next, Kai rushed forward, diving below the stage, his arms outstretched. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> His breath caught in his throat as Soobin collapsed, flinching and shutting his eyes when he heard a painful bang. Kai pitched forward, barely catching himself as Soobin fell into his arms. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Opening his eyes, he let his breath out in a rush, eyes fixated on his Hyung, who had fainted dead away in his arms. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Everything was a blur after that, his members and staff rushing, crowding around him. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Someone took Soobin from him and carried him backstage. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Kai was frozen in his place, the scene replaying in his mind over and over again. He couldn't help the overwhelming guilt that came over him when he realized how much Soobin had probably tried to ignore his sickness to avoid any more anger directed towards him. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Kai…” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Kai flinched, Yeonjun's voice wrenching him from his thoughts. He looked up at his Hyung, staring into his sorrowful eyes. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Is… He ok?” Kai asked when he finally found his voice. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Yeonjun nodded slowly. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “He hurt his elbow on the way down, but it's still intact. But… He's apparently running a fever. He overworked himself pretty bad…” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “So he's not ok, Hyung…” Kai whined, eyes prickling with tears. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “No…” Yeonjun sighed, dropping his gaze. “But he might be… If we're there for him… Let's forget about everything that happened, ok? Let's start over.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Kai nodded quickly, already having forgotten everything the moment he felt Soobin was off. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The two walked backstage in silence. Kai tried to hold back his tears, but when his eyes settled on Soobin's pale yet calm face, he couldn't stop them from streaming down his face. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</p><p> </p><p>Kai jerked awake with a soft gasp.</p><p> </p><p>It took him a few seconds to focus, realizing that it was only a nightmare and that he wasn't somehow reliving the experience all over again.</p><p> </p><p>He sighed in annoyance, wishing his brain would stop replaying the terrifying moment.</p><p> </p><p>As he became more aware of his surroundings, he felt a comforting warmth around him.</p><p> </p><p>Smiling, he turned slightly to see Soobin sleeping behind him, arms loosely wrapped around him.</p><p> </p><p>Just as Kai was about to turn back, Soobin stirred slightly, blinking slowly as he awoke.</p><p> </p><p>His eyes settled on Kai lying awake next to him and he smiled sleepily.</p><p> </p><p>“Kai? Why are you awake, kiddo?” He whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm…” Kai hummed thoughtfully, hesitant to disclose why he had woken up.</p><p> </p><p>“You can tell me…” Soobin said comfortingly, sensing his hesitance.</p><p> </p><p>Kai sighed, curling into himself slightly.</p><p> </p><p>“I guess… I still feel bad… I should've paid more attention to you.” He muttered.</p><p> </p><p>Soobin let out a soft laugh, ruffling the boy's hair fondly.</p><p> </p><p>“I think you paid enough attention baby bro… You saved me from a much worse fate…”</p><p> </p><p>“You make it sound like such a big thing. Anyone would've done it…”</p><p> </p><p>“But anyone didn't do it… <em> You </em> did Kai. And more than that, you showed your maturity by putting aside our fight and doing what was right.”</p><p> </p><p>“Again, Hyung…” Kai said, laughing a little. “Anyone would've done it…”</p><p> </p><p>Soobin didn't respond with words, instead choosing to wrap the boy in a hug. </p><p> </p><p>“You're going to have to give yourself more credit, Kai. Because I don't care that anyone would've done it. I care that <em> you </em> did. Don't feel bad anymore, ok? It's all behind us now. We made it through a tight place <em> together </em>. We both messed up and we both fixed it. Just like everything else, we got through it together…”</p><p> </p><p>Kai laughed when Soobin finished his little speech.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks for the speech Hyung. Trying to show off that you're best leader material or something?”</p><p> </p><p>“I'm not the best leader…” Soobin said quietly. “But I sure as heck can be the best Hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm, not sure about that…” Kai said, with a grin.</p><p> </p><p>“Yah!” Soobin said, smacking the boy lightly, smiling widely.</p><p> </p><p>Kai laughed, before gasping and falling silent.</p><p> </p><p>“We should go back to sleep Hyung… I just realized it's still the middle of the night. We might wake the others.”</p><p> </p><p>“Too late for that…”</p><p> </p><p>The two boys turned their heads to see the other three members standing in the doorway.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah sorry you guys…” Soobin muttered, sheepishly.</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm, we'll forgive you…” Taehyun said, thoughtfully glancing over at Beomgyu with a smirk.</p><p> </p><p>“<em> If </em> you guys can beat us in a pillow fight…” Beomgyu said, grinning devilishly as he raised the pillow in his hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Um, Hyung?” Kai said, glancing anxiously at Yeonjun as if he could somehow stop the inevitable chaos.</p><p> </p><p>“Don't look at me…” Yeonjun said, smirking in amusement. “It was <em> my </em> idea…”</p><p> </p><p>No other words were exchanged as Soobin leaped from the bed, charging at the three, laughing happily.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on, Kai! You gotta help me take them down!”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, it's on!” Kai said, grinning as he joined his chaotic Hyungs.</p><p> </p><p>They didn't sleep after that, playing and laughing together until the crack of dawn.</p><p> </p><p>When their manager came to the dorms the next morning, he had originally planned to take them somewhere to cheer them up after the incident the day before. But upon entering the apartment, he grinned and left them alone, thinking it was a much better idea to let them stay in the sleepy dogpile he had found them in.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Eternity was absolute heat🔥<br/>I'm alrdy planning a new au based off the mv so be sure to look out for that!💜</p><p>Y'all can fangirl with me at...<br/>Tumblr:@minisuga127<br/>Twitter:@MiniSuga127</p><p>Comments motivate me!💜 thx for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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